People are staring at me through the glass. Everyone is always looking at me, through that invisible piece of glass that separates me from the world, that piece of glass that no one can step over, and no one can penetrate until I say they can. They’re all looking at me, and all I can do is stare back at them while they gawk at me like some sick animal with a new disease. The white washed walls create a cell of sanitary confinement, and the white glows in such away it makes me feel like I am surrounded by a million 100 watt lights, all shining in my face at the same time. Just those walls are enough to drive any normal person crazy.
White washed walls and padded floors, it’s like from a movie. It’s a loony bin right down to the straps on the chairs, and the tables bolted to the floors. It’s a horror movie, one that never ends, just keeps playing over and over again like a broken record. That movie plays words and actions, people and places, but it’s always the same character. It’s always me. Me, myself, and I; the one and only.
It’s funny, when people say ‘me, myself, and I’, and they chuckle like it’s some kind of inside joke that they created themselves. It’s no joke; me, myself, and I really do exist. All inside my little head, right behind my eyes and inside every crevice of my brain and every vein of my spinal cord.
‘What are you jabbering about silly little girl? We are all the same, we are all inside you, don’t presume you know anything about what you say. We say, and we know, we should talk and you should listen.’
Okay..I’m sorry..
“They’re just a few…precautions. It’s the first stage of recovering.”
Don’t you just love how someone will talk about you as if you don’t exist, because for some unknown reason they believe that they know more about your own mind than you do?
‘But you don’t know anything.’
How could someone who has never met you before know what is better for you?
‘Only we can tell you what is better for you.’
“I just wish that he didn’t have to live in such unnatural conditions. It all seems so barbaric…” The voice of him trailed off in the end, as he wiped his red nose as if to say, ‘You may think that this is the right thing, but I will fight you and your nasty world the whole way.’
“Like I said, it’s just a precaution.” He replied with a slightly annoyed voice.  He had a tendency to pay more attention to himself than the actual people he was talking to. It was like there was some hidden facts on there that would help him through every question, and make him seem like the smartest guy in the world.
‘It’s not working. He’s dumb as a post.’
“Hmpf..for once I agree.”

But you've got too much to wear on your sleeves
It has too much to do with me
And secretly I want to bury you in the yard
The grey remains of a friendship scarred


It not what you ever expected but somehow you're relieved.
The battle of a broken heart, friendship and a girl that's just had too much bullshit to care.

He said it... yes he did... oh I wish he... I've heard them talking, luring me to the dimension of sweet-talking. of decisions... so many decisiona... shh! he's talking. I hear his voice in the walls, sweat covers the old paintings as the personas awakes. I whisper a murmur of awe - never saw them in this light before. Moving pictures, they play in a show called Mr. O'Neve, in that same big stupid roll. Like thunder and lightning in encrazed twingled game, kissing the silence between, and at the end.
He speaks... I hear his voice... it feels so familiar, I swear! By GOD I grow costumed to this, peculiar, whispers. In my ears they run, search for a cave to hide-low... warm fire lit aside in the back of the mind, hiding thoughts - hiding things! from the serpents of time. Tucking little toe in bed, with the blanket up its head, and a kiss in its cheeks - one to each side, and repeat.
How i wish I was made in the sea of this bed... yet this voice, here again! Hear! it calls in my name... come - it says. It's obssessed! I think I finaly lost my head... I can't stop, it don't cease... like a vasp strikes snd hushs... like a baby - lost it tongue... yet so clear, so undeem, that it seems like it means to clench that special root in my vain. All that strains to untame...
Here they are, all in lines. Hands up-right, fingers stretched ahead with a clear unseen smile, with a tingle at their eyes. "It's that girl!" they don't say, but their heart's good enough to read. I fear them as much as I adore them... I love them. Altogether... But I like your voice the most.

what if this was your story of lost ambition?

turning the pages,

feeling so useless

you lived your life without purpose

you thought it was worth it.

tragic.

And then she said "who I am hates who I've been"

I found that to be more depressing then watching the news all day.

Life flies by so fast when you're holding your breath. Things come at you so unexpectedly and you have to cope. ^{never meant to hurt} Some people are better at things than others. I'm not sure what I'm good at, but I know what I like to do.
When you get older will you remember that song you sang with your best friend back in fifth grade? Or will you remember that teacher that called you "mousy" straight to your face back in 7th grade? Maybe you won't, ^{what is important to you?} some people only remember the "important things"; but what are the important things? Do they differ from person to person? Is your first kiss going to be a special memory? ^{or did your special moment suck as much as mine did?}
Life's little lessons seem to repeat themselves; is it just to make sure we don't keep screwing up? What are the life lessons? ^{I haven't learned any}
Remember how back in 5th grade whenever we saw a cute boy we would always say he was our boyfriend, even though we hardly even talked to him.
Growing up is strange. You grow and you learn new things. I don't know about you, but I'd like to stay a kid forever, life is so much simpler when you're 5. Remember how we used to rub dandelions under our chins to see if we liked butter or not
I miss so many things…..
catching frogs in the swamp
building tree forts and saying that it was the best tree fort ever built, even though it was just a tarp over a few boards.
going fishing all day and enjoying it
not being too self-conscious to get into a swim suit
playing in the sand
laying on the grass and staring at the stars
not having a care in the world except for If it would be sunny enough to play tag outside…
I don't wear my hair in pigtails any more. I don't play tag outside with my friends and I don't sit and watch the cars go passing by, looking at the license plates to see where everyone was from.  I can't have a lemonade stand on our front lawn I might get sent to the loony bin Pretty soon home will be somewhere else, far away.
Hopefully I can find a friend that knows I like….
^{catching frogs in the swamp
building tree forts
going fishing all day
playing in the sand
laying on the grass and staring at the stars}

Heel to toe-- we can't stop it.
Life is here. Try not to trip.

I hate to think hesitation is a burden. A bittersweet design
for a lesson you're learning

this distance seems closer
when you shove it in my face
this moment has left me with nothing else to say


sing me something soft
sad and delicate
or loud and out of key sing me anything...

just cos the kitten's nice doesnt mean it doesnt scratch..when it does.. it makes sure you bleed...